Breaking News!!!

I am back! Starting today! I return with the second season of “Conversations from the Green Couch Podcast!” Simply tap on the link and listen in on any and all platforms where you listen to your podcasts! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-from-the-green-couch-w-annette-ortiz-mata/id1566969656 I am excited about this season. I am doing something different, and I hope you join me … More Breaking News!!!

All good things…

And I say that with a bit of sarcasm. I am taking a significant break from all Social Media platforms to focus on a writing project.  I need my “own” undivided attention. I know that I run the risk of “FOMO” – LOL I know that I run the risk of simply not remembering birthdays, … More All good things…

What’s your life fragrance?

Fragrance is a sweet or delicate odor (as of fresh flowers, pine trees, or perfume) and aroma. So what’s your fragrance? What lingers when you leave the room? How will you be remembered in a world where our last thoughts are memorialized on Twitter, the perfect snapshot uploaded on Instagram, our latest message promoted on … More What’s your life fragrance?

Time…

Time: – (n) the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole Time is an interesting concept. I have been around long enough to remember when “time” was only a keeper of wrongs.  When I refused to let things go because I was hurt, angry, or simply disappointed…but TIME. … More Time…

My Why…

Someone asked me what prompted me to write a book on faith and when did my outlook on faith shift? It began when I realized that indoctrination (the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically) was no longer working in my life.I had equated church attendance with a relationship … More My Why…

What I listen to…

Lately, I have been listening to several podcasts during my long walks. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to catch up on some of the current events, get updated on pop culture, and learn a few new things about finances and relationships, hoping that something sticks. It made me think – … More What I listen to…

Perceptions…

Several months ago, I was enjoying a beautiful dinner with some friends. We shared stories and lots of laughter. It was an evening filled with poignant moments, tears, and encouragement. As the evening was coming to a close, one of my friends made a strange comment, and it literally shifted the moment. It was a … More Perceptions…

Did you hear it?

Several weeks ago, I was obligated to sit in silence – not an easy task since I love to be “busy” or “productive” – depending on the day. But this time, I had no other choice. So I did; I sat in a room and sat still near an open window and just listened…to the … More Did you hear it?

Stop saying …

WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! This blog is a declaration! We must stop saying that women can have it all.  I have never been more disappointed by any statement in my life.  If we choose to be a wife, mother, professional, etc., having it all comes at a price. It is my personal experience that … More Stop saying …

What every mother SHOULD tell their daughters and every MAN should know!

What our mothers forgot to tell us…. When you are moving towards menopause, ya bettah put on some rose-colored glasses; if not, you won’t survive!!! The kids you have will begin to look like monsters…Your spouse looks less appealing! You don’t want to talk to anyone…Yet you want to talk to everyone  You are hot…you … More What every mother SHOULD tell their daughters and every MAN should know!

A day in the life…

What would they learn if someone walked in your shoes for 24 hours? I often ask myself this question. Will they enjoy the day? Will they see how productive I am? Will they learn how charitable I can be? Will they sense joy? Peace? Will they experience kindness and generosity? Or will my shortcomings be … More A day in the life…

Eyes Wide Open…

A new year, a new focus. This year I struggled with what to write, and honestly, I no longer felt qualified to continue to write. Most of what I held true somehow came undone in the past few months, and the level of guilt and shame began to suffocate me. To say that feeling has … More Eyes Wide Open…

A beautiful life…

He said, “we have a beautiful life….” I didn’t understand….until I did. All I knew was my heart was broken; how can that be called a beautiful life. I let the words settle until the realization of what he was saying became greater than my simple understanding. Our life is beautiful- Every test  Every trial … More A beautiful life…

Shards…

I often wondered how many of us are walking around with shards in our hearts that we simply can’t talk about because it just hurts too much. I understand that pain. I am learning to soften the scars left behind by the shards that ripped through my heart. I am processing the pain I have … More Shards…

What Comfort looks life…

Comfort comes in many ways Comfort comes in silence Comfort comes in flowers Comfort comes in food Comfort comes in lyrics Comfort comes in conversations Comfort comes in breathing Someone once told me as long as we are alive everything and everyone is redeemable. I take comfort in those words. ———-

SCARS

I have a few physical scars. Some obvious to the naked eye, others covered by cloth. I have many more scars that are unseen. I call them soul scars. Little divots that have keloid. I feel them from time to time. Some scars almost broke me into a million pieces. Scars that ripped so deep … More SCARS

Do you know…?

She simply said “What do you want?” Ask yourself “What does Annette want?” and just like that the tears flowed. She asked me not to answer her but to think about it and write it down. She jokingly said, and please don’t write down “World Peace.” I appreciated the levity at the moment, for I … More Do you know…?

It has a name…

It’s called CPV It has a name Never in a million years did I ever think I would utter these words. I am a victim of Child/Parent Violence.  It falls under the definition of domestic violence from a child towards a parent. That’s what happened to me, to our family.  I do not share this … More It has a name…

In a dark closet…

It’s been a while since I last blogged. I survived quarantine. I published a book. I am surviving trauma. I am barely coming up for air and slowly re-engaging into society. I am observing things differently. I am noticing the little things. Acknowledging the details of every day. I catch myself staring out of my … More In a dark closet…

Open Hands…

Usually, by this time in the year, I sit still and ask God to speak to my heart and guide me with a focus for the next year. If you’ve been a follower and reader of my blogs, you know I use a word to focus my life, business, family, career, and relationships. This year … More Open Hands…

Truth be told…

I have been holding my breath since March! I have been trying to see the glass half-full. Look for the silver lining. Wait for joy to come in the morning. Sense the peace in the midst of the storm and believe the sun will come out tomorrow! …and it’s been hard!!! I’m sure I am … More Truth be told…

Painful Wins…

I know, you are probably thinking how is that possible, that something that you win can be painful. Well, it can. This year has proven to be one of the most challenging years of our entire Country. Corporately we have witnessed the loss of lives in tragic accidents, illnesses, and murders. We have lost icons, … More Painful Wins…

Decisions…

If you are anything like me…you are a list maker. I have a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly list. It might be my OCD…yeah, I can admit that. And like anyone else, I had goals and plans for things to do this year! BUT guess what!  I might have checked off one major item and … More Decisions…

Digital Fatigue…

Several days ago I was asked to join some girlfriends on Zoom to “just talk” and I took a hard pass. I thought I’d never say this, but I am officially experiencing digital fatigue. Everything that I must access is currently found on the Information Highway otherwise known as the Internet. Internet use to be … More Digital Fatigue…

I’m still brown.

I have come to realize that even if I met all of the markers of success, i.e., education, wealth,  and housing. I am still brown. I was raised in The Bronx, NY. Specifically, the Soundview Housing Projects. My mom was a dedicated homemaker, and my father a blue-collar worker.  I attended public schools. As an … More I’m still brown.

Seek Therapy

Six months of quarantine exposed a million little cracks that, if left unattended, would shatter…it would shatter our family. Awkwardly sitting together in our first virtual session… Family therapy. Looking at a screen trying to communicate why we are here. How did we get here? It was grueling! It required us to hear words spoken of … More Seek Therapy

I dare to hope!

Exhausted… Yup! These past few weeks, I have felt nothing but emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. I avoided the news channels for a few weeks, but my social media posts seemed to keep me connected to all the current news and all the anxiety we are experiencing in our neighborhoods, state, and world. It is … More I dare to hope!

The weight of it all was too much…

 It was calming down and then BAM! We get hit with a racial pandemic! Here we are trying to navigate masks, social distancing, slow integration. All the new normals that have been imposed upon us and now the most heinous of prejudices “RACE.” This, my friend, is no new occurrence. It’s the way we, the … More The weight of it all was too much…

Lessons during Quarantine…

Letting go requires self-control. Read that again…slowly. By definition, self-control requires -restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires. When we let something go, when we release control of all things, self-control must take front and center.  In our human nature, when we let things go, we panic, fear sets in, and we immediately … More Lessons during Quarantine…

You are safe…

The other day I read the funniest tweet ever… “been quarantined with my wife for four weeks now. At this point, I have more risk of getting killed by her than by a crummy virus.”  I laughed out loud and shared it with my friends and especially my husband. I couldn’t help but think how … More You are safe…

A few questions…

Who will we be when all of this is said and done? An interesting season in our world.  Forcing us to look at each other and deal with our families, our finances, and our environment. Requiring us to pay attention to the details. I have pondered several questions and wanted to share them with you … More A few questions…

Coincidence…I think not!

Coincidence – the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection. (Merriam-Webster) Have you ever thought and said to yourself, wow, that’s such a funny coincidence? Oh my goodness, how crazy is that? Or that can’t be possible? What are the chances? All comments that connect to what we believe … More Coincidence…I think not!

I am no longer asking for permission…

All my life, I’ve made measured decisions. Is this a good idea?  Will it be disrespectful?  Will I hurt someone’s feelings?  Will I be judged? Will they stop being my friend?  Am I talented enough? Will I be pretty enough?  Will I be smart enough?  Will I be respected?  Will they accept me? As I’ve … More I am no longer asking for permission…

Now what…

Here it is –  16 months, of school, completed and now what? I found myself experiencing a real sense of anxiety. I normally am not one to get anxious.  I’m pretty laid back about things. I wait and pray and trust. Yet I found myself panicking and fretting and worrying about what is next?  What was … More Now what…

It’s the little things…that adds up!

Dearest Robert, Tomorrow, February 5th, we will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary.  The moment we cried (well I think you cried more than I did) and said I do to each other. And with that being said I want to say the following… Thank you for asking me to be your wife. Thank you for … More It’s the little things…that adds up!

Garage Sale…

“Don’t accumulate possessions; accumulate experiences – Mark Batterson Have you walked up to a garage sale or estate sale and wondered how much the homeowner must have “loved” these items, and now here they are laid out on a table going for just a few bucks?  I often wonder did these things bring joy, love, … More Garage Sale…

Set three goals…

I challenge you!!! Set three goals for the next year! One that is attainable One that requires a bit of work One that is so out of your reach will take a miracle!!! I challenge everyone to put their faith to the test and see what GOD can do through you! I love writing goals … More Set three goals…

Stillness…

 We are surrounded by so much noise that we forget what the sound of silence feels like! As this season of busyness approaches it’s important to take a moment, day, whatever you can spare and center yourself. The holidays can be emotionally and physically draining.  Filled with exhilaration or unimaginable sadness for others. Be … More Stillness…

Six Weddings…

This was the year of weddings! We received six wedding invitations of which we were only able to attend three.  It seemed that each time I opened my mailbox, there was another engagement, save the date and wedding invite. We take our attendance at weddings very seriously.  Someone very wise once said, when you commit … More Six Weddings…

My soul counts…

How do I keep my faith when those representing Christianity keep failing me!!!!! Who are we? What have we become? A divisive people fighting each other over politics A divisive people arguing over moral rights A divisive people judging the life of one another A divisive people that tear each other down A divisive people … More My soul counts…

Patience…

  Patience – The capacity, habit, or fact of being patient. Patient – bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain; steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. OUCH!!!!! Here I thought I am patient.  WELL, after reading these definitions, I realized I have a LONG way to go to … More Patience…

Be teachable…

This week I had the privilege of sitting with some amazing women.  They all shared their incredible journeys.  They were poignant, heartfelt stories, others were uplifting and encouraging. One theme seems to run through all of the conversations…be teachable.  Each one of them imparted some small nugget that left me filled, thinking, and challenged. I … More Be teachable…

Where are the instructions…to parenting?

It was our recent trip to the country’s largest IKEA that prompted this blog! It was our first time walking through this monstrosity of a home goods store. We didn’t think we were going to buy anything, we just wanted to walk around, but we grabbed a bag. By the time we got to the … More Where are the instructions…to parenting?

Mommyhood…

I was raised in a home where there was a full-time stay at home mom.  My mom’s sole focus and job were raising all seven children. She woke up early, made us breakfast and when we came home from school, there was a snack waiting.  The smells of dinner cooking would permeate the apartment. She … More Mommyhood…

Pause

Time to pause Time to reflect Time to read more Time to sleep more Time to slow down Time to sit still Time to look up and give thanks Take time to live more, laugh more, and show up! Be kind to yourself Be good to others ‘Til August -Annette Ortiz Mata  

Hold him…

There I was sitting across from my son getting ready to be as vulnerable as possible, not truly knowing how he would receive my heart.  And so, I leaped! I was nervous, but I needed him to know of my inner sorrow so that I could heal our brokenness.  And then it happened…healing and wholeness. We … More Hold him…

Kissed by God…

“We need all your birth certificates”, he said. “All your siblings, it’s the only way to disperse the inheritance”. I proceeded to collect all the birth certificates and something was off. Six birth certificates and there it was. One of these was not like the other, and that other was mine. I was staring at … More Kissed by God…

Dear God…forgive us!

Forgive our indifference Forgive our selfishness Forgive our hatred Forgive our anger Forgive our racism Forgive our bigotry Forgive our unbelief Forgive our lack of empathy Forgive our lack of tolerance Forgive our lack of compassion Forgive our violence Forgive our fighting Forgive our division Forgive our ruthlessness Forgive our lack of love Forgive our … More Dear God…forgive us!

School Scandal? New…well?

These past few weeks, our news and twitter feeds have been inundated with the school scandal/entrance scam.  Parents going the “extra mile” to assure their child is guaranteed a seat in the most elite schools around the country. This, my friend, is nothing NEW. I think the most egregious detail is the “alleged fraud” that the … More School Scandal? New…well?

Why this hurts…

Several years ago I attended a TedTalk style event featuring Cristina Saralegui, otherwise known as the Latina Oprah. She was having a conversation about the state of Latinos on Television and the power and the importance of her show, although on a Latino Network (Univision) she was experiencing great crossover success with her guests and audience. … More Why this hurts…

What’s the difference between Jordyn Woods and me?

Answer: NOTHING! This past week the internet exploded. The interview on Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith and Jordyn Woods almost shut it down. Our salacious need to know the intimate, hurtful details of the indiscretions of a 21-year-old became breaking news…this is the state of our society, sadly. I try my best to … More What’s the difference between Jordyn Woods and me?

When stillness leads to shock and awe…

Have you ever sat still enough to contemplate where life has brought you? What your decisions have taught you? How life is working out for you?  Have you considered the relationships in your life?  Have you sat still enough to think about the world, nation, and community around you? I try my very best to … More When stillness leads to shock and awe…

Free-Falling…​.

Have you ever felt like you are free-falling? Everything you are trying to get done is coming undone. Your relationships are broken, your finances are in chaos, and your mind is racing and your nights are sleepless, and you feel all alone. Well, guess what, you are not alone. By nature of being nurturers, we … More Free-Falling…​.

Have you made your list? Have you checked it twice?

If you follow my blog, you know that I am a list maker. I make a list for the day, the week, the month, the year.  I go over it each day and check off my daily, monthly, and if I’m so lucky my yearly accomplishments. I challenge you to create a list of goals. … More Have you made your list? Have you checked it twice?

Just when you think no one is watching…they are.

She placed my life in perspective with these words. “…I beg to differ… It might not have been a strong year in the ways you may have hoped for it to be strong, but you and Tio damn sure have become stronger. You chose to walk in forgiveness with a family that treated you terribly … More Just when you think no one is watching…they are.

ONE MORE SLEEP…

One more sleep and I will face one of my biggest fears! Flying internationally… ALONE! An 11-hour flight with no one to tell me “it’s going to be okay,” except maybe a stranger whose hand I may grab (I’ve done that once before). Was the excitement of seeing so many beautiful things (including Megan Markle’s wedding … More ONE MORE SLEEP…

This week…

This week was difficult to sit and write. First, the shootings that shook a community that was confident in their safety. The senseless shooting that took innocent lives. The senseless shooting that changed the reality of every family that lost a loved one The senseless shooting that shook me to my core, in not knowing … More This week…

What’s on your Thanksgiving Menu?

Each year I plan my Thanksgiving Menu. I figure out how many guests and how much food I’ll need to prepare and purchase. I am incredibly meticulous with details and presentation because I want my guests to feel welcomed, loved, satisfied and thankful! As I thought about this process, I thought about what is on … More What’s on your Thanksgiving Menu?

When what you pray for comes packaged differently? ​What do you do?

This week it happened to me! At the beginning of every year, I write my heart’s desire, goals for myself for that particular year. This year was no different. The year of New came with A LOT of new. Some wished for and others definitely not asked for, yet it was all new. I still … More When what you pray for comes packaged differently? ​What do you do?

“If only…”

Are you content? Do you feel – satisfied, pleased, gratified, fulfilled, happy, cheerful, glad; unworried, untroubled, at ease, at peace, tranquil, serene? So you accomplish all your goals.  You check all your to-dos and sit back say..and then what?  Were you satisfied?  Did it meet all your expectations?  Did you get out of it all … More “If only…”

Are you a spectator or participant….in your life?

Your immediate response may be, I am a participant? It’s my life I have to do me!  What kind of question is that?   Well, after several interesting conversations I concluded that some folks are spectators in their own lives.  They don’t participate. They just do just enough to get through the day and meet their … More Are you a spectator or participant….in your life?

I needed it to be a cold blue…

I sat and cried. I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t.  The night before, I was taking my evening stroll and lectured my husband, that if anything should come back, that’s questionable, I didn’t want anyone to overact. That if my tests were to prove something malignant, I wanted everyone to be strong. Yet, … More I needed it to be a cold blue…

Eat. Love. Pray…..and just show up!

As the youngest of seven siblings, I often wonder what could I offer my oldest in times of trouble. Well…this past year has put that to the test. David battling Leukemia and Angel battling End Stage heart disease in need of both a kidney and heart transplant has required me to… Eat, Love, Pray, and … More Eat. Love. Pray…..and just show up!

Grace Extended…​

Grace – (n) – mercy, clemency pardon It seemed unimaginable. First came the phone call. The voice on the other end, desperate, screaming, crying, scared. “Mom, please tell dad to hurry, I’m hurt, I am really hurt.” What! Where? How? Where are you? – All questions I asked out loud and tons more racing through … More Grace Extended…​