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That’s all for now.
I struggle with words this week for personal reasons and the current Israel situation. I feel as if what’s the point of making my point if the world is in crisis. I don’t ever want to be so insular that I am not aware of the brokenness of this world.…
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Walking on Water…
Lately, I have been feeling like I’ve been walking on water. This theme has been resonating a lot with me these past few months. I’m not quite sure why (maybe it’s The Chosen’s fault), but I am confident things will become more apparent as time goes by. As I delved…
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Idols…
In my faith, we are taught not to worship any other gods, no carved gods of any size, shape, or form… Yet, in our human nature, we worship other gods in different ways. How can you discover what the idol is in your life? Well, it’s simple It’s that thing…
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Healing hurts…
For the past several months, yes, months, I have been managing the pain of a frozen shoulder! Nothing prepares you for the onset of frozen shoulder syndrome. I thought I had a plethora of other issues when the simple fact was that my shoulder had frozen. Nine months later, I…
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Anatomy of a Strike!
Strike action, also called labor strike, labor strike, or simply strike, is a work stoppage caused by the mass refusal of employees to work. A strike usually takes place in response to employee grievances A strikebreaker (sometimes derogatorily called a scab, blackleg, or knobstick) is a person who works despite…
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Summer Tour Lessons
This summer was unlike most summers. I was not home for quite some time. Almost three months to be exact. I love my home comforts so this was truly something that stretched me a bit. During my time away from home, we drove through 21 states and visited, Georgia, Florida,…
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Digital Pacifier
Several months back, while on vacation with my family, we were at dinner and noticed these toddlers, who could not be older than two years old, sitting with their respective parents. Though their ages were exactly the same, their behavior was not. One toddler was quiet and focused on his…
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Smoke and Mirrors
What would happen if we walked around telling the “truth” about ourselves? What would happen if every day we woke up and shared how we truly feel emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally? What would happen if we pulled back the curtain to our lives to truly expose what we look…
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The Business of Entertainment…
For the past 30 years, I have been an active participant and recipient of the “Business of Entertainment.” It has afforded me a comfortable life. Now, do not be deceived; our family has sacrificed tremendously. I’ve said when you listen to the winner on any award show who thanks their…
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You are enough…
I recently came across a post on Instagram of Jim Carrey sharing why he decided to retire. And though much of what he said was interesting, what stopped me dead in my tracks was the following: “…I really like my quiet life, and I really love putting paint on canvas,…
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Why are we throwing people away….?
As the migrant crisis grows in our country, we have chosen to shuffle them around to other areas in the country, like a game of hot potato. These local governments overlook that they are people with hopes, children with dreams, and families with aspirations, unlike any American. So why are…
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Emotions….
Emotions are tricky. They can deceive you. They can control you. They can reveal you. They can assist you. We must be careful how we respond, react, interpret, and judge others’ emotions, even our own. During one of my therapy sessions, I was processing an experience long tucked away in…
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It’s here…
Finally! My second book, my sophomore book, my most personal account of a moment gone awry, is now available for the WORLD to read. To say I am nervous is an understatement, but I knew that it needed to be written so that at least ONE person, ONE mom, dad,…
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Are you on pause?
What does waiting feel like to you? We wait in lines We wait in cars We wait in trains, buses, street corners We wait on decisions We wait on the news We wait on results We wait for breakfast, lunch, and dinner We wait for plans to be made Every…
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Labels –
I was thinking the other day about how and what I believe about myself…how did that start? As a young girl, my dad always told me I was the “daughter of a king.” Of course, I knew he meant that figuratively and not literally, for he was NOT a king…
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Here we are again…
Yes, here we are again…and this time, I feel like we arrived in December rather quickly. I’m sure we can say that each year, but it seemed like it came abruptly for me. I was navigating troubled waters this year, and the waves kept coming, and I spent a lot…
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Breaking News!!!
I am back! Starting today! I return with the second season of “Conversations from the Green Couch Podcast!” Simply tap on the link and listen in on any and all platforms where you listen to your podcasts! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-from-the-green-couch-w-annette-ortiz-mata/id1566969656 I am excited about this season. I am doing something different, and…
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It’s all in the eyes…
“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” – William Shakespeare I don’t think that William Shakespeare had any idea how true this statement would become in 2020! For the past two years! Yes!!! Two years!!! The ENTIRE world has been asked to wear masks to slow down the transmission…
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Time…
Time: – (n) the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole Time is an interesting concept. I have been around long enough to remember when “time” was only a keeper of wrongs. When I refused to let things go because I was hurt,…
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The newness of motherhood…
A few weeks ago, I attended a one-year birthday celebration. The party was brimming with newness! Expectant moms that were glowing, tired new moms, committed new moms. There was a palpable expression of joy and love. It was refreshing – Yet I found myself thinking… Do they know? Do they…
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What I listen to…
Lately, I have been listening to several podcasts during my long walks. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to catch up on some of the current events, get updated on pop culture, and learn a few new things about finances and relationships, hoping that something sticks.…
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Perceptions…
Several months ago, I was enjoying a beautiful dinner with some friends. We shared stories and lots of laughter. It was an evening filled with poignant moments, tears, and encouragement. As the evening was coming to a close, one of my friends made a strange comment, and it literally shifted…
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Did you hear it?
Several weeks ago, I was obligated to sit in silence – not an easy task since I love to be “busy” or “productive” – depending on the day. But this time, I had no other choice. So I did; I sat in a room and sat still near an open…
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Stop saying …
WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! This blog is a declaration! We must stop saying that women can have it all. I have never been more disappointed by any statement in my life. If we choose to be a wife, mother, professional, etc., having it all comes at a price. It…
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Recovering from Recovery
Have you ever said I need a vacation from my vacation? We load up vacations with every imaginable activity trying to create memories for ourselves and our families, and when we return to our routine, we are simply exhausted! What was the point of the vacation- Well, I find myself…
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Who are you warring for?
Several weeks ago, while I was getting a “wellness” procedure, the technician shared why she decided not to return to her wildly successful and cushy corporate job but instead decided to work in the wellness industry. She explained that she had given this “corporate job” close to 20 years of…
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Sorrow…can use some company
Sorrow – (n) Deep sadness for the loss of someone or something loved I am not sure about you, but lately, we have been surrounded by immeasurable sorrow, almost to the point of hopelessness. It seems as if every day we wake up to the loss of someone we hold…
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What every mother SHOULD tell their daughters and every MAN should know!
What our mothers forgot to tell us…. When you are moving towards menopause, ya bettah put on some rose-colored glasses; if not, you won’t survive!!! The kids you have will begin to look like monsters…Your spouse looks less appealing! You don’t want to talk to anyone…Yet you want to talk…
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My own words healed me…
A few months back, when I simply could not write, I began to read my blogs from years past. I realized that reading my own words started to heal me. I found it fascinating that I was inspired to write what would heal me years later in my life. I…
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A day in the life…
What would they learn if someone walked in your shoes for 24 hours? I often ask myself this question. Will they enjoy the day? Will they see how productive I am? Will they learn how charitable I can be? Will they sense joy? Peace? Will they experience kindness and generosity?…
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Eyes Wide Open…
A new year, a new focus. This year I struggled with what to write, and honestly, I no longer felt qualified to continue to write. Most of what I held true somehow came undone in the past few months, and the level of guilt and shame began to suffocate me.…
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It’s okay to change your mind…
“Changing your mind does not mean you’re unstable. It just means what you thought was going to work for you, isn’t going to work at all” (Annette) A few weeks ago, this thought came to me, and I realized we often feel bad for changing our minds, not for ourselves,…
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A beautiful life…
He said, “we have a beautiful life….” I didn’t understand….until I did. All I knew was my heart was broken; how can that be called a beautiful life. I let the words settle until the realization of what he was saying became greater than my simple understanding. Our life is…
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Shards…
I often wondered how many of us are walking around with shards in our hearts that we simply can’t talk about because it just hurts too much. I understand that pain. I am learning to soften the scars left behind by the shards that ripped through my heart. I am…
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What Comfort looks life…
Comfort comes in many ways Comfort comes in silence Comfort comes in flowers Comfort comes in food Comfort comes in lyrics Comfort comes in conversations Comfort comes in breathing Someone once told me as long as we are alive everything and everyone is redeemable. I take comfort in those words.…
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Are you busy or productive?
Sometimes we feel that busyness gives us value. We often find ourselves running around like a chicken without its head… and we say to ourselves we must be contributing to life!!! I believe that the pandemic and worldwide imposed quarantine changed the definition of busyness. How much of what we…
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SCARS
I have a few physical scars. Some obvious to the naked eye, others covered by cloth. I have many more scars that are unseen. I call them soul scars. Little divots that have keloid. I feel them from time to time. Some scars almost broke me into a million pieces.…
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What I did on Saturday…
I did nothing…absolutely nothing! Some would call it observing the Sabbath or a mental health day. I spent an entire Saturday in my pajamas. No TV, no background music. No conversations, no texting. Just reading, meditating, journaling and laying still. Some of you may have felt that the entire year…
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Do you know…?
She simply said “What do you want?” Ask yourself “What does Annette want?” and just like that the tears flowed. She asked me not to answer her but to think about it and write it down. She jokingly said, and please don’t write down “World Peace.” I appreciated the levity…
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It has a name…
It’s called CPV It has a name Never in a million years did I ever think I would utter these words. I am a victim of Child/Parent Violence. It falls under the definition of domestic violence from a child towards a parent. That’s what happened to me, to our family. …
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In a dark closet…
It’s been a while since I last blogged. I survived quarantine. I published a book. I am surviving trauma. I am barely coming up for air and slowly re-engaging into society. I am observing things differently. I am noticing the little things. Acknowledging the details of every day. I catch…
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Truth be told…
I have been holding my breath since March! I have been trying to see the glass half-full. Look for the silver lining. Wait for joy to come in the morning. Sense the peace in the midst of the storm and believe the sun will come out tomorrow! …and it’s been…
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Painful Wins…
I know, you are probably thinking how is that possible, that something that you win can be painful. Well, it can. This year has proven to be one of the most challenging years of our entire Country. Corporately we have witnessed the loss of lives in tragic accidents, illnesses, and…
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Decisions…
If you are anything like me…you are a list maker. I have a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly list. It might be my OCD…yeah, I can admit that. And like anyone else, I had goals and plans for things to do this year! BUT guess what! I might have checked…
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Digital Fatigue…
Several days ago I was asked to join some girlfriends on Zoom to “just talk” and I took a hard pass. I thought I’d never say this, but I am officially experiencing digital fatigue. Everything that I must access is currently found on the Information Highway otherwise known as the…
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I’m still brown.
I have come to realize that even if I met all of the markers of success, i.e., education, wealth, and housing. I am still brown. I was raised in The Bronx, NY. Specifically, the Soundview Housing Projects. My mom was a dedicated homemaker, and my father a blue-collar worker. I…
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Seek Therapy
Six months of quarantine exposed a million little cracks that, if left unattended, would shatter…it would shatter our family. Awkwardly sitting together in our first virtual session… Family therapy. Looking at a screen trying to communicate why we are here. How did we get here? It was grueling! It required us…
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The weight of it all was too much…
It was calming down and then BAM! We get hit with a racial pandemic! Here we are trying to navigate masks, social distancing, slow integration. All the new normals that have been imposed upon us and now the most heinous of prejudices “RACE.” This, my friend, is no new occurrence.…
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Living your life…
I thought I knew what I truly wanted, but when I got it I realized I didn’t want it at all. I was in love with the illusion of what it could be and not the reality of what it truly was. Have you found yourself yearning, fantasizing, idealizing a…
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It is time to ….pivot!
This global quarantine has exposed the best and worst of us. Who will survive? Who will thrive? I spent the first three months submitted to focused stillness- then BAM! The physical/social distancing kicked in…and I struggled!! You see, the first three months were my decisions, my choices, my focus. When…
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1, 8, 3 – They Say…
I was reluctant at first. Another quiz? Another label? Aye…really…but I did it. I took the Enneagram Test. I subjected myself to the algorithms that would accurately describe in detail my personality type. Did I learn anything new? Nah, not really. What I did learn is the test revealed that…
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A Seat at my table…
During this physical distancing time, I have re-organized my closets, my dresser, the kitchen cabinets, my office desk, and the bookshelves. I have sorted in stacks of what I will keep, donate, and throw away. So it occurred to me, what in my relationships do I need to re-organize? How…
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I thought I was done…
Three years and over 100 blog posts, I thought I had written enough, said enough, encouraged enough, brought enough insight, and it was time to wrap my blog in a beautiful, pretty bow. I didn’t believe that my weekly blogging had many legs left, and this was going to be…
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Lessons during Quarantine…
Letting go requires self-control. Read that again…slowly. By definition, self-control requires -restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires. When we let something go, when we release control of all things, self-control must take front and center. In our human nature, when we let things go, we panic, fear…
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You are safe…
The other day I read the funniest tweet ever… “been quarantined with my wife for four weeks now. At this point, I have more risk of getting killed by her than by a crummy virus.” I laughed out loud and shared it with my friends and especially my husband. I…
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A few questions…
Who will we be when all of this is said and done? An interesting season in our world. Forcing us to look at each other and deal with our families, our finances, and our environment. Requiring us to pay attention to the details. I have pondered several questions and wanted…
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Coronavirus COVID19
Plans on hold Dreams deferred —— We are forced to do what so many have complained they never have the time to do Have dinners at home Walks in the park Talk with our kids Laugh with our spouses Call our friends Catch up on our favorite TV shows Read…
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Coincidence…I think not!
Coincidence – the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection. (Merriam-Webster) Have you ever thought and said to yourself, wow, that’s such a funny coincidence? Oh my goodness, how crazy is that? Or that can’t be possible? What are the chances? All comments that…
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Now what…
Here it is – 16 months, of school, completed and now what? I found myself experiencing a real sense of anxiety. I normally am not one to get anxious. I’m pretty laid back about things. I wait and pray and trust. Yet I found myself panicking and fretting and worrying about…
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It’s the little things…that adds up!
Dearest Robert, Tomorrow, February 5th, we will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. The moment we cried (well I think you cried more than I did) and said I do to each other. And with that being said I want to say the following… Thank you for asking me to be…
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Garage Sale…
“Don’t accumulate possessions; accumulate experiences – Mark Batterson Have you walked up to a garage sale or estate sale and wondered how much the homeowner must have “loved” these items, and now here they are laid out on a table going for just a few bucks? I often wonder did…
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Set three goals…
I challenge you!!! Set three goals for the next year! One that is attainable One that requires a bit of work One that is so out of your reach will take a miracle!!! I challenge everyone to put their faith to the test and see what GOD can do through…
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Stillness…
 We are surrounded by so much noise that we forget what the sound of silence feels like! As this season of busyness approaches it’s important to take a moment, day, whatever you can spare and center yourself. The holidays can be emotionally and physically draining. Filled with exhilaration or…
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Six Weddings…
This was the year of weddings! We received six wedding invitations of which we were only able to attend three. It seemed that each time I opened my mailbox, there was another engagement, save the date and wedding invite. We take our attendance at weddings very seriously. Someone very wise…
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My soul counts…
How do I keep my faith when those representing Christianity keep failing me!!!!! Who are we? What have we become? A divisive people fighting each other over politics A divisive people arguing over moral rights A divisive people judging the life of one another A divisive people that tear each…
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It made me think…twice
This past weekend I had a moment to watch a documentary on Netflix that made me think twice. “Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates” – I know, I know most cynics will say what can one of the richest men in the world teach me that his money has not…
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It’s really that simple…
Creating space through order! We were a lot of kids; at one given time, there were 9 of us living in a three-bedroom apartment with one bathroom! My mom was the queen of order and cleanliness. There were too many of us, and she hated the bugs that would come…
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Patience…
Patience – The capacity, habit, or fact of being patient. Patient – bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain; steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. OUCH!!!!! Here I thought I am patient. WELL, after reading these definitions, I realized I have a…
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Where are the instructions…to parenting?
It was our recent trip to the country’s largest IKEA that prompted this blog! It was our first time walking through this monstrosity of a home goods store. We didn’t think we were going to buy anything, we just wanted to walk around, but we grabbed a bag. By the…
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What I know for sure…
You have my heart completely! Faith… This past week I underwent several medical tests. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it places things into perspective -that’s for sure! As I recovered and sat quietly in my bedroom. I took that the time to reflect on things I know to…
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Mommyhood…
I was raised in a home where there was a full-time stay at home mom. My mom’s sole focus and job were raising all seven children. She woke up early, made us breakfast and when we came home from school, there was a snack waiting. The smells of dinner cooking…
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Women can be….well… read on…
So, here I was feeling really good about myself. Walking with a pep in my step and singing along with the radio in the car. I was HAPPY! It had been a summer of several health challenges, in which at this point, I was overcoming, and I had just completed…
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Brokenness walked into my house…
This summer, a few things occurred that stopped me dead in my tracks and forced me to face the reality that lives all around us. Her name is Sarah*. A phone call from our son asking if a friend could sleepover. By sheer instinct, I knew the omission of the…
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My words…have traveled!
On May 8, 2017, I posted my very first blog. Little did I know that those words would travel the world. My intention for the blog is to inspire, educate, and entertain. Have I achieved that these past two years, I would hope so? I desire to always leave the…
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They belong to me…
This week I celebrate my 53rd birthday. I always take this time to reflect on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I am going. I reflect on the goodness and mercy of God in my life I reflect on the life lived out loud in joy and in sorrow.…
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Kissed by God…
“We need all your birth certificates”, he said. “All your siblings, it’s the only way to disperse the inheritance”. I proceeded to collect all the birth certificates and something was off. Six birth certificates and there it was. One of these was not like the other, and that other was…
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My heart grew twice…
Paul was barely a few days old. Due to being a premie, he was not allowed to be out of the NICU for very long, and I wanted Rob to meet and hold his baby brother. As I gently placed Paul in Rob’s arms, I asked him, “how do you feel?”…
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Dear God…forgive us!
Forgive our indifference Forgive our selfishness Forgive our hatred Forgive our anger Forgive our racism Forgive our bigotry Forgive our unbelief Forgive our lack of empathy Forgive our lack of tolerance Forgive our lack of compassion Forgive our violence Forgive our fighting Forgive our division Forgive our ruthlessness Forgive our…
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Two weeks of moments…
So! These past few weeks have been filled with activities. Weddings, galas, bridal showers, night out w/friends, finals, finishing up my second semester of Law School and celebrating Easter. All in the past TWO weeks! I get to catch my breath for about a week or so, and I intend…
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The Jacket and me…
This weekend I was in a room full of love and celebration, and the next day a room full of judgment and excess. I belonged in both rooms. It was a weekend of bipartisanship, literally. I sat in awe that I had come so far. A little Puerto Rican girl…
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School Scandal? New…well?
These past few weeks, our news and twitter feeds have been inundated with the school scandal/entrance scam. Parents going the “extra mile” to assure their child is guaranteed a seat in the most elite schools around the country. This, my friend, is nothing NEW. I think the most egregious detail is…
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Why this hurts…
Several years ago I attended a TedTalk style event featuring Cristina Saralegui, otherwise known as the Latina Oprah. She was having a conversation about the state of Latinos on Television and the power and the importance of her show, although on a Latino Network (Univision) she was experiencing great crossover success…
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When stillness leads to shock and awe…
Have you ever sat still enough to contemplate where life has brought you? What your decisions have taught you? How life is working out for you? Have you considered the relationships in your life? Have you sat still enough to think about the world, nation, and community around you? I…
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Free-Falling….
Have you ever felt like you are free-falling? Everything you are trying to get done is coming undone. Your relationships are broken, your finances are in chaos, and your mind is racing and your nights are sleepless, and you feel all alone. Well, guess what, you are not alone. By…
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Folding and purging and my epiphany!
I learned that just as I was letting go of “things”, I needed to let go of hurts that had crept into the closet of my heart.
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Twenty-Five years and counting!
Committing to marriage and committing to each other is an act of selflessness.
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Have you made your list? Have you checked it twice?
If you follow my blog, you know that I am a list maker. I make a list for the day, the week, the month, the year. I go over it each day and check off my daily, monthly, and if I’m so lucky my yearly accomplishments. I challenge you to…
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Just when you think no one is watching…they are.
She placed my life in perspective with these words. “…I beg to differ… It might not have been a strong year in the ways you may have hoped for it to be strong, but you and Tio damn sure have become stronger. You chose to walk in forgiveness with a…
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ONE MORE SLEEP…
One more sleep and I will face one of my biggest fears! Flying internationally… ALONE! An 11-hour flight with no one to tell me “it’s going to be okay,” except maybe a stranger whose hand I may grab (I’ve done that once before). Was the excitement of seeing so many beautiful…
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What lives in the Soul of A Woman?
My desires My dreams My regrets My fears My loves My heartache My plans My wishes My anger My determination My sorrow My laughter My strength My eternal hope… What lives in yours? Lessons: Remember to guard your heart… For where your treasure is, there your heart will be. (Matthew…
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This week…
This week was difficult to sit and write. First, the shootings that shook a community that was confident in their safety. The senseless shooting that took innocent lives. The senseless shooting that changed the reality of every family that lost a loved one The senseless shooting that shook me to…
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What’s on your Thanksgiving Menu?
Each year I plan my Thanksgiving Menu. I figure out how many guests and how much food I’ll need to prepare and purchase. I am incredibly meticulous with details and presentation because I want my guests to feel welcomed, loved, satisfied and thankful! As I thought about this process, I…
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When what you pray for comes packaged differently? What do you do?
This week it happened to me! At the beginning of every year, I write my heart’s desire, goals for myself for that particular year. This year was no different. The year of New came with A LOT of new. Some wished for and others definitely not asked for, yet it…
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“If only…”
Are you content? Do you feel – satisfied, pleased, gratified, fulfilled, happy, cheerful, glad; unworried, untroubled, at ease, at peace, tranquil, serene? So you accomplish all your goals. You check all your to-dos and sit back say..and then what? Were you satisfied? Did it meet all your expectations? Did you…
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How did we get here so fast?
Honestly, how did we get to the beginning of the end of this year!!! It’s around this time that I always sit and reflect on this past year. The ups, the downs. The dreams realized. The hopes deferred. The goals checked off. The addition of new goals. The losses and…
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Are you a spectator or participant….in your life?
Your immediate response may be, I am a participant? It’s my life I have to do me! What kind of question is that? Well, after several interesting conversations I concluded that some folks are spectators in their own lives. They don’t participate. They just do just enough to get through…
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I needed it to be a cold blue…
I sat and cried. I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t. The night before, I was taking my evening stroll and lectured my husband, that if anything should come back, that’s questionable, I didn’t want anyone to overact. That if my tests were to prove something malignant, I wanted…
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Eat. Love. Pray…..and just show up!
As the youngest of seven siblings, I often wonder what could I offer my oldest in times of trouble. Well…this past year has put that to the test. David battling Leukemia and Angel battling End Stage heart disease in need of both a kidney and heart transplant has required me…
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Grace Extended…
Grace – (n) – mercy, clemency pardon It seemed unimaginable. First came the phone call. The voice on the other end, desperate, screaming, crying, scared. “Mom, please tell dad to hurry, I’m hurt, I am really hurt.” What! Where? How? Where are you? – All questions I asked out loud…