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I keep sitting with this thought. So what is next? I have started 2026 with loss, and many unexpected decisions, along with walking into my 60th year of living…and I find myself asking…so what’s next, Annette? What are you (Annette) setting yourself up to do? I realize that with all that I have accomplished, motherhood,
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It’s only been two weeks into the new year, and already, I feel like the load is too heavy to bear. So I cracked. I wept and wept. How am I going to get everything required of me in the next six months done? How am I going to show up for myself and for
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I never imagined in a million years that my first post of 2026 would be about the passing of my sister-in-law, Arlene Deanna Gonzalez. As life would have it, her cancer returned with a vengeance. Spilling into the brain, lungs, and bones from her breast. It ravaged her body in a way that was gut-wrenching
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I am going to be completely transparent, 2025 has been an incredibly challenging year for me personally. I began the year with severe stomach issues that carried on through into mid 2025. On Mother’s Day, after the third ER visit, I decided to make a change. I made a very concerted effort to improve my
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I walked into my appointment. To my surprise, my technician had ordered and read my audaciously earnest first attempt at writing a novel! She was beyond excited to share her opinion and asked me to sign her copy. She immediately said, “I need a sequel.” I replied, “Oh lord, I don’t know if I am
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I did it! I wrote my very first novel. I hope you read it and share it. I hope you create a book club and discuss it. As an author, I would love to hear your feedback and as a novice novelist, reviews are important! Good or not the best! They all matter. They will
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In the past month, I have seen hundreds of posts of folks saying they are ready for Christmas, breezing past Thanksgiving decor and straight to holiday lights! Well, I am one of them. On November 1st, the Christmas Tree will be gracing our home, though the outside will still have pumpkins. I thought to myself,
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I decided to take a walk and not plug my ears with artificial noise. By that I mean, earbuds airing a podcast or music. I decided I would listen to the sounds of nature. The sounds that surrounded me while I walked up the hills and through the parks. To my sweet surprise, a neighbor’s
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I struggled with blogging this week. My mind is preoccupied, my heart is heavy, and my body is tired. I thought of a million things to write about. I thought about sharing how much I am enjoying my walks and the silence. How important it is to unplug our ears and listen to the sounds
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I have learned that two things can be true simultaneously. Joy and sorrow are related! Mother Nature has taught us that. We experience great storms, and suddenly a rainbow appears. Childbirth has taught us that. In childbirth, the pain, though unimaginable, produces the joy of a new life. Yet, on some days, experiencing both joy
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Just like that… In an effort to expand my audience, I posted a blog on a platform offered by the blog site. The first post was received positively, until it was flagged and removed. They offered an “appeals” option and recommended that I review their “community guidelines,” which I did. Well, as you can already
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I grew up in a household that was surrounded by music. It was a gift that both my mom and dad left me and my siblings. We woke up to the sounds of the radio, and we fell asleep to the rhythms of music, via boom box, or radio station (WBLS, if you know you
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So…this thought came to me this morning… no, seriously, it was this morning. I had another schedule post for today, but after having my Instagram compromised and being hacked on Facebook and not being able to get back on until close to four years later because “I had violated community guidelines” meanwhile, someone is on
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In life, we need experts, and by that I mean folks who have studied, researched, and applied their knowledge to outcomes that serve the greater good. Yet, lately, EVERYONE seems to be an expert on EVERYTHING. We have shied away from those who have put in the hours and years of study and work to
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The other day, while journaling and writing my morning pages, I started thinking about what I had to do that day and the days that followed. And it occurred to me, why am I fussing over what has to get done over time when tomorrow is not promised? Why am I worrying, creating, re-arranging, and
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Enough (adj) – occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations Enough (adv) – in or to a degree or quantity that satisfies or that is sufficient or necessary for satisfaction Enough (pronoun) – a sufficient number, amount, quantity. Enough (Synonyms) – all, altogether, completely, entirely, exactly, heartily,
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Healing is messy! Whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual…it is messy. I recently read a book about a woman who lived in a million-dollar home in the suburbs, but threw it all away due to her addiction. She was arrested and convicted, and while serving her time, she battled her addiction. During her
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A few months ago, I read a book that a dear friend sent to me. In it were various stories, testimonies, and experiences of people who had a life-changing encounter with God. Several of the experiences were gut-wrenching. The life they lived was heartbreaking until they encountered their God, and they found hope. Where these
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For some of us, life is “business as usual.” For others, it’s not!The events unfolding in our country have catapulted many communities into chaos and despair. It has forced business owners to reassess their bottom line, causing many to close their doors. It has forced families to pause in community engagement and how they show up because
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In the past two years, there has been an incredible download of “alarming” information about AI, aka Artificial Information. Now, please hear me out. I am not an expert in the field of AI, and this is definitely not a blog about it, but more about how AI will not be able to solve, improve,
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Lately, I feel my nervous system come undone. While conversing with my husband, I shared that… I feel an overwhelming sense of grief. I feel invisible. I feel discarded. Everything I represent has been weaponized against me – Latina/Woman/Christian I have watched as so many in this country have chosen to take the road of
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A few months ago, while listening to my Pastor teach a lesson on how God blesses, he said something that made me sit up a bit more in my chair. “We don’t dictate how God blesses” – Pastor Tim. Wait…what? You mean all those selfish prayers I pray each morning are not what God wants
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Telling the truth and hearing the truth are difficult. Ever wonder why? Because they both require some form of courage, acceptance, clarity, self-reflection, and a risk of not being liked if you are the truthteller. I grew up in a household where you were definitely going to get the truth. Being the youngest of seven,
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Early this year, I decided to re-arrange my home office. I turned my desk around and placed it facing the wall behind me. Can I tell you that that simple action of turning a desk around shifted EVERYTHING for me! I am now facing beautiful, colorful, original artwork from my son and husband, respectively. I
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A few years back, I decided to change how I say “the good, the bad, and the ugly”. Learning that it was related to a “spaghetti western”, I couldn’t relate. The Good, the Bad, and the Lessons made more sense for the vernacular use. Life is full of good, bad, and lessons. Why would we
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That’s it—that’s all that is read when determining whether a novel or nonfiction manuscript is worth representing or even publishing in the traditional way. Please and thank you, but only the first ten pages. If you can keep the literary agent turning the page, they deem your writing worthy of representation; if not, next.The idea
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The month of May is loaded for me. It’s full of birthdays, my own included, and in memoriams, along with Mother’s Day. Though my mom is no longer with me, I distinctly remember her fragrance, her singing voice, her cooking, and her sense of style. I choose not to remember her sadness, her pain, and
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During a conversation I was having with a friend I kept saying I needed to ‘let go” of whatever was troubling me. I said the phrase enough times that she said, I actually think you need to “surrender”. Uff! I got quiet. I listened. I thought to myself, surrender? Hmm…how is that different from letting
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Most of us know the fictional story of “Alice in Wonderland.” A little girl is bored, follows a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, and chaos ensues. WELL…I fell down a rabbit hole of my own and found myself in mental, physical, and emotional chaos. What I found in my rabbit hole was a bunch
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This year, I chose to make a concerted effort to practice Lent in a way I had never done before. I placed ashes on my forehead and sat still for 40 days. 40 days to fast, repent, reflect, deny myself and grieve.No news. No social media. No meat. During this time friends were managing life-changing
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Several weeks ago, a notification popped up on my phone. As I stared at it, I thought to myself…my God, another one? I live in a quiet town outside of Los Angeles County of 36 thousand residents. To get to my City, you must drive on an overpass that has now been the location of
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A few days ago, I was listening to a podcast about regret. As the caller expressed her regrets, their regrets resonated with me. I listened as her voice trembled, on the verge of tears, I found myself wiping tears of my own. You see, I, too, realized I had placed my family first and forgot
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This past month has been nothing short of heartache for thousands of Angelenos. I am convinced that everyone knows someone who was directly affected by the loss of their homes and lives. It has been a horrific time of grief for so many. Someone said we must stop saying it’s only “things” they lost because
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The other day, while on a walk, I was on the phone with my best friend, who so brilliantly talks me off the ledge but also walks with me through life’s interesting predicaments, most of which revolve around faith. I told her that I was confused, which bothered me because, for the most part, very
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For the past several years, I have taken the month of January to reset, fast, and disengage. It’s my own “Dry January” tradition, though, for me, it’s not just abstaining from alcohol but also social media, sugar, and anything that steals my focus away from stillness. This year, I found the task a bit more
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As my last blog for 2024, I want to share some reflections. The year was full of firsts and lasts. There are some lessons I will keep to myself and others I will share. This year was the year of Walking on Water for me and my family. It required us to do what was
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This will be an incredibly vulnerable and raw blog…discretion is advised. I grew up in a religious household…extremely religious. We’d have to wear skirts over our pants (now that’s a look). We couldn’t wear earrings, makeup, nail polish, or cut our hair (which is why I love short hair). Our little Pentecostal bubble was strong
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I struggled with whether to give my unwarranted opinion on this election. And by the time I post this, we will have a new President. Some Americans will be singing in the street, while others will be protesting in the streets. Whatever the outcome, I have to accept, and hopefully, so will the rest of
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And I say that with a bit of sarcasm. I am taking a significant break from all Social Media platforms to focus on a writing project. I need my “own” undivided attention. I know that I run the risk of “FOMO” – LOL I know that I run the risk of simply not remembering birthdays,
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I stand… Crawling out of a fog with scars, Full of confusion, disorientation, and exhaustion. The trauma my body endured. The terror my mind withstood And the destruction that has ripped through my heart leaving me breathless. The thoughts have been endless The weeping and anguish for someone who is still living unimaginable Yet here
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A few weeks ago, I woke up with a stiff shoulder. Hmm, that’s not unusual, I thought. I’ve had a frozen shoulder, so the tightness didn’t seem to phase me. A week later, my back froze up on me. I literally could not lift myself out of the bed. I had to turn my body
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Have you ever had a brilliant idea and thought to yourself, “I am going to do this…this is great. This will change everything. This will empower me, bring out the best in me, and help me move closer to my goal.” And…well…it doesn’t! Welp, I have had many of those “brilliant” ideas that have gone
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A few days ago, I was having a very thoughtful conversation with someone who, when I asked if they ever went “back home” to visit their family, immediately replied, “No. I divorced myself from that pain. I cut those soul ties that are in my past. I live in the here and now.” I was
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A few weeks ago I was struggling with a decision and its circumstances, and in that conversation I was told just be brave. That lingered in my psyche for a while. Why was I struggling so much with this decision? I realized it wasn’t about me, it was about the unwarranted judgment that was going
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As someone who enjoys good conversation, I find myself quieter than usual. I find myself listening to exchanges that question my presence in them, immediately realizing, “I have nothing to add to this.” Conversations can be petty, insightful, silly, or entertaining. They can serve as a point of education, admonishment, or simply fun. Yet, lately,
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A few weeks ago, I sat with someone while they were applying to college; in an effort to impress the Admissions Dept, they proceeded to write an essay using AI/Chatgpt. As they read it to me out loud, I looked up at them and said how much of that is AI, and how much is
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Recently, I have found social media full of noise. Everyone is an expert on something, and everyone is trying to influence you to buy, try, or live as they suggest. At times, I have fallen prey to all the noise, scrolling, and purchasing items that either are a bust or a must. Lately, however, I
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A few years ago I obtained a Masters in the Studies of Law with a Certification in Entertainment Law. I have always been curious about how “the law” works and how do we reach certain outcomes and how is it possible that there are so many “loop holes” in law. Well…during my studies I learned
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That I would find myself writing a novel. Yes, a novel. It’s much more intimidating than writing a memoir. In a memoir, you stick to the facts. You share the experience and its outcome, and you hope that you have effectively encouraged someone to have a better outcome in their own life. A novel…well. The
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I am living in the middle of my life. I am no longer numerically young to do “young” things (whatever those are); I am not old enough to retire from life, though I do not EVER see myself becoming that person. Living in the middle comes with a bit of uncertainty that we do not
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Several months ago, while cleaning out our garage, I came across a bin labeled “old memories.” When I opened it, to my surprise, I found writings from when I was very young. I found my first attempt at writing an “autobiography.” When I started reading my own words at the tender age of 9, I
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Have you ever stopped along the way to recognize answered prayers? We spend days, weeks, even years pleading for answers to our more desperate prayers. When we get them, we act indifferent, as if it is nothing SHORT OF A MIRACLE!!!! I feel a profound responsibility to share that I am currently living in my answered
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As every woman knows, these two are not the same. One is an intruder, and one is an occupant. One comes in unannouced while they other makes itself comfortable in our bodies. I am amazed how both are having a moment now. It used to be kale, cauliflower rice, and even therapy. Now it’s Peri
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What are you doing right now? Are you doing what you want, need to, and have to do? Are you doing what you LOVE to do? Are you doing what moves you forward? If you are to do anything for yourself… Do what moves you forward! Do what gets you towards your goals. Do what
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Is your life aspirational or inspirational? Do you desire to be or inspire to be? Do you yearn for inspiration to live well or aspire to live well? Do you create, or do you copy? These questions came across my mind while scrolling, and if truth be told, I find myself scrolling and questioning everyone’s
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In March 1993, during a visit to Los Angeles, I first met Robert; I thought, what a nice guy. I recall someone telling me, “Whoever marries that guy is going to be one lucky girl; he’s a great guy.” In my mind, I thought, what makes him a great guy? What’s so special about him? Several
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Lately, I find myself in a quandary. Yes, uncertainty can seep in at my age and stay for a while. I guess most folks experience this either at the end of a year or the beginning of a new one. I usually am very clear and focused on tasks, agendas, and goals, but lately, that
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This week, I struggled with what to write. Not because of some world event that has given me pause. More so the purpose and value of my words. I struggled because I want what I write to give someone, one person, something to think about and create a teachable moment if I would be so presumptuous.
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Aaaahhhhhhh! That’s probably not the completion of this famous quote by Maya Angelou- “When people show you who they are, believe them” you were expecting; but a few days ago I thought about this quote and how many times I’ve used it. I started to wonder, what about if we just forgave, leaving room for change.
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The summer of 2023 was quite eventful. Our family was on location for what was supposed to be several months, but a strike-shortened our time away. We decided to make lemonade out of what was looking like some seriously bad lemons! You know what I mean – any-hoo…we decided to travel down south, up east and across the
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It was December of 2022, and we were driving up north to visit with our oldest. We had an awkward visit as we exchanged gifts in a Red Robin Restaurant and shared niceties, but we were still trying to figure out how life would look moving forward, and at that time, we sincerely had no idea.
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I struggle with words this week for personal reasons and the current Israel situation. I feel as if what’s the point of making my point if the world is in crisis. I don’t ever want to be so insular that I am not aware of the brokenness of this world. So, as I fumble with
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Lately, I have been feeling like I’ve been walking on water. This theme has been resonating a lot with me these past few months. I’m not quite sure why (maybe it’s The Chosen’s fault), but I am confident things will become more apparent as time goes by. As I delved into the theme of “walking
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In my faith, we are taught not to worship any other gods, no carved gods of any size, shape, or form… Yet, in our human nature, we worship other gods in different ways. How can you discover what the idol is in your life? Well, it’s simple It’s that thing that consumes your thoughts. It’s
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For the past several months, yes, months, I have been managing the pain of a frozen shoulder! Nothing prepares you for the onset of frozen shoulder syndrome. I thought I had a plethora of other issues when the simple fact was that my shoulder had frozen. Nine months later, I found myself in Physical Therapy
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Strike action, also called labor strike, labor strike, or simply strike, is a work stoppage caused by the mass refusal of employees to work. A strike usually takes place in response to employee grievances A strikebreaker (sometimes derogatorily called a scab, blackleg, or knobstick) is a person who works despite an ongoing strike. My Issue
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This summer was unlike most summers. I was not home for quite some time. Almost three months to be exact. I love my home comforts so this was truly something that stretched me a bit. During my time away from home, we drove through 21 states and visited, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Virginia, Washington DC
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Several months back, while on vacation with my family, we were at dinner and noticed these toddlers, who could not be older than two years old, sitting with their respective parents. Though their ages were exactly the same, their behavior was not. One toddler was quiet and focused on his iPad, while the other was
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What would happen if we walked around telling the “truth” about ourselves? What would happen if every day we woke up and shared how we truly feel emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally? What would happen if we pulled back the curtain to our lives to truly expose what we look like and how we live?
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As many of you know, my latest book “Parenting in the Dark, Letting Go of Shame while holding on to Hope,” was released in April 2023. It is my second published book, and I am very proud of the endeavor. It is hands down my most vulnerable writing to date, and the response and reaction
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For the past 30 years, I have been an active participant and recipient of the “Business of Entertainment.” It has afforded me a comfortable life. Now, do not be deceived; our family has sacrificed tremendously. I’ve said when you listen to the winner on any award show who thanks their families, they rightfully SHOULD, for
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I recently came across a post on Instagram of Jim Carrey sharing why he decided to retire. And though much of what he said was interesting, what stopped me dead in my tracks was the following: “…I really like my quiet life, and I really love putting paint on canvas, and I really love my
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Listening – hear, pay attention, be attentive, attend, concentrate on, hearken, tune in, keep one’s ear open. This is what I decided to do this summer. I went on a listening tour. I was determined to listen to the sounds of nature, music, voices, and opinions. I listened to words spoken to me with kindness
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During the summer months, I decided to join my husband on location, and when things abruptly wrapped up (did I mention there is a strike going on?), we decided to extend our time away and drive up the East Coast and across the Country. But that recap will be for another blog. I want to
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In October 2022, I was assigned that 2023 would be the “Year of the New Seasons.” Now you might be telling yourself there are always new seasons…duh… Winter/spring/summer/fall…we all participate in “new” seasons. But, as I know all too well when I am prompted with a yearly theme, it is never as literally “read.” My
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As the migrant crisis grows in our country, we have chosen to shuffle them around to other areas in the country, like a game of hot potato. These local governments overlook that they are people with hopes, children with dreams, and families with aspirations, unlike any American. So why are we throwing them away? Please
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Three months into the release of my latest book, “Parenting in the Dark,” I am currently walking in the unfolding of a miracle. The book walks the reader through a moment gone awry in our family life due to addiction, violence, and pain. Many readers have reacted with words such as courageous, brave, cringe, shocking,
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Emotions are tricky. They can deceive you. They can control you. They can reveal you. They can assist you. We must be careful how we respond, react, interpret, and judge others’ emotions, even our own. During one of my therapy sessions, I was processing an experience long tucked away in the “we do not talk
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Finally! My second book, my sophomore book, my most personal account of a moment gone awry, is now available for the WORLD to read. To say I am nervous is an understatement, but I knew that it needed to be written so that at least ONE person, ONE mom, dad, brother, sister, or family member,
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What does waiting feel like to you? We wait in lines We wait in cars We wait in trains, buses, street corners We wait on decisions We wait on the news We wait on results We wait for breakfast, lunch, and dinner We wait for plans to be made Every moment of our day we
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I was thinking the other day about how and what I believe about myself…how did that start? As a young girl, my dad always told me I was the “daughter of a king.” Of course, I knew he meant that figuratively and not literally, for he was NOT a king himself, but we believed that
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As we all prepare to run, walk, skip, jump or crawl into this new year, I prepare to release one of the most personal memoirs I have ever written…to date. It is a raw account of a moment in time in which everything shifted. Coming to readers this spring will be my latest book, “Parenting
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Yes, here we are again…and this time, I feel like we arrived in December rather quickly. I’m sure we can say that each year, but it seemed like it came abruptly for me. I was navigating troubled waters this year, and the waves kept coming, and I spent a lot of time trying to get
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Join me this month of Thanksgiving as I have engaging and thought-provoking conversations. I start off by reading a blog I wrote in November 2017! And it still rings true. We often take for granted what someone is praying for!!! I share how we need to give thanks. My following conversation is with Conservative Pundit
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I am back! Starting today! I return with the second season of “Conversations from the Green Couch Podcast!” Simply tap on the link and listen in on any and all platforms where you listen to your podcasts! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-from-the-green-couch-w-annette-ortiz-mata/id1566969656 I am excited about this season. I am doing something different, and I hope you join me
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And I say that with a bit of sarcasm. I am taking a significant break from all Social Media platforms to focus on a writing project. I need my “own” undivided attention. I know that I run the risk of “FOMO” – LOL I know that I run the risk of simply not remembering birthdays,
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“The eyes are the windows to your soul.” – William Shakespeare I don’t think that William Shakespeare had any idea how true this statement would become in 2020! For the past two years! Yes!!! Two years!!! The ENTIRE world has been asked to wear masks to slow down the transmission of a virus transmissible via
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Fragrance is a sweet or delicate odor (as of fresh flowers, pine trees, or perfume) and aroma. So what’s your fragrance? What lingers when you leave the room? How will you be remembered in a world where our last thoughts are memorialized on Twitter, the perfect snapshot uploaded on Instagram, our latest message promoted on
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Time: – (n) the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole Time is an interesting concept. I have been around long enough to remember when “time” was only a keeper of wrongs. When I refused to let things go because I was hurt, angry, or simply disappointed…but TIME.
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A few weeks ago, I attended a one-year birthday celebration. The party was brimming with newness! Expectant moms that were glowing, tired new moms, committed new moms. There was a palpable expression of joy and love. It was refreshing – Yet I found myself thinking… Do they know? Do they know how challenging parenting will
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Someone asked me what prompted me to write a book on faith and when did my outlook on faith shift? It began when I realized that indoctrination (the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically) was no longer working in my life.I had equated church attendance with a relationship
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“Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” I do not know too many people who don’t live in a glass house! Social media has made that the case for anyone who chooses to share their life, thoughts, images, opinions, and criticisms. Anyone with a digital footprint lives in a glass house! What does
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Lately, I have been listening to several podcasts during my long walks. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to catch up on some of the current events, get updated on pop culture, and learn a few new things about finances and relationships, hoping that something sticks. It made me think –
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Several months ago, I was enjoying a beautiful dinner with some friends. We shared stories and lots of laughter. It was an evening filled with poignant moments, tears, and encouragement. As the evening was coming to a close, one of my friends made a strange comment, and it literally shifted the moment. It was a
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Several weeks ago, I was obligated to sit in silence – not an easy task since I love to be “busy” or “productive” – depending on the day. But this time, I had no other choice. So I did; I sat in a room and sat still near an open window and just listened…to the
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WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! This blog is a declaration! We must stop saying that women can have it all. I have never been more disappointed by any statement in my life. If we choose to be a wife, mother, professional, etc., having it all comes at a price. It is my personal experience that
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Have you ever said I need a vacation from my vacation? We load up vacations with every imaginable activity trying to create memories for ourselves and our families, and when we return to our routine, we are simply exhausted! What was the point of the vacation- Well, I find myself saying…I’m recovering from my recovery.
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Several weeks ago, while I was getting a “wellness” procedure, the technician shared why she decided not to return to her wildly successful and cushy corporate job but instead decided to work in the wellness industry. She explained that she had given this “corporate job” close to 20 years of her life. She shared how
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Sorrow – (n) Deep sadness for the loss of someone or something loved I am not sure about you, but lately, we have been surrounded by immeasurable sorrow, almost to the point of hopelessness. It seems as if every day we wake up to the loss of someone we hold dear, to the illness that
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What our mothers forgot to tell us…. When you are moving towards menopause, ya bettah put on some rose-colored glasses; if not, you won’t survive!!! The kids you have will begin to look like monsters…Your spouse looks less appealing! You don’t want to talk to anyone…Yet you want to talk to everyone You are hot…you
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A few months back, when I simply could not write, I began to read my blogs from years past. I realized that reading my own words started to heal me. I found it fascinating that I was inspired to write what would heal me years later in my life. I had insight, for a moment,
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What would they learn if someone walked in your shoes for 24 hours? I often ask myself this question. Will they enjoy the day? Will they see how productive I am? Will they learn how charitable I can be? Will they sense joy? Peace? Will they experience kindness and generosity? Or will my shortcomings be
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A new year, a new focus. This year I struggled with what to write, and honestly, I no longer felt qualified to continue to write. Most of what I held true somehow came undone in the past few months, and the level of guilt and shame began to suffocate me. To say that feeling has
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“Changing your mind does not mean you’re unstable. It just means what you thought was going to work for you, isn’t going to work at all” (Annette) A few weeks ago, this thought came to me, and I realized we often feel bad for changing our minds, not for ourselves, but the guilt of the
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He said, “we have a beautiful life….” I didn’t understand….until I did. All I knew was my heart was broken; how can that be called a beautiful life. I let the words settle until the realization of what he was saying became greater than my simple understanding. Our life is beautiful- Every test Every trial
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I often wondered how many of us are walking around with shards in our hearts that we simply can’t talk about because it just hurts too much. I understand that pain. I am learning to soften the scars left behind by the shards that ripped through my heart. I am processing the pain I have
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Comfort comes in many ways Comfort comes in silence Comfort comes in flowers Comfort comes in food Comfort comes in lyrics Comfort comes in conversations Comfort comes in breathing Someone once told me as long as we are alive everything and everyone is redeemable. I take comfort in those words. ———-
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Sometimes we feel that busyness gives us value. We often find ourselves running around like a chicken without its head… and we say to ourselves we must be contributing to life!!! I believe that the pandemic and worldwide imposed quarantine changed the definition of busyness. How much of what we do is necessary or simply
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I have a few physical scars. Some obvious to the naked eye, others covered by cloth. I have many more scars that are unseen. I call them soul scars. Little divots that have keloid. I feel them from time to time. Some scars almost broke me into a million pieces. Scars that ripped so deep
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I did nothing…absolutely nothing! Some would call it observing the Sabbath or a mental health day. I spent an entire Saturday in my pajamas. No TV, no background music. No conversations, no texting. Just reading, meditating, journaling and laying still. Some of you may have felt that the entire year of 2020 was your Sabbath,
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She simply said “What do you want?” Ask yourself “What does Annette want?” and just like that the tears flowed. She asked me not to answer her but to think about it and write it down. She jokingly said, and please don’t write down “World Peace.” I appreciated the levity at the moment, for I
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It’s called CPV It has a name Never in a million years did I ever think I would utter these words. I am a victim of Child/Parent Violence. It falls under the definition of domestic violence from a child towards a parent. That’s what happened to me, to our family. I do not share this
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It’s been a while since I last blogged. I survived quarantine. I published a book. I am surviving trauma. I am barely coming up for air and slowly re-engaging into society. I am observing things differently. I am noticing the little things. Acknowledging the details of every day. I catch myself staring out of my
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Usually, by this time in the year, I sit still and ask God to speak to my heart and guide me with a focus for the next year. If you’ve been a follower and reader of my blogs, you know I use a word to focus my life, business, family, career, and relationships. This year
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I have been holding my breath since March! I have been trying to see the glass half-full. Look for the silver lining. Wait for joy to come in the morning. Sense the peace in the midst of the storm and believe the sun will come out tomorrow! …and it’s been hard!!! I’m sure I am
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The audacity of writing. I have felt strongly in my heart to write about my faith journey and its outcome. It’s unconventional, but here are some hard truths which are embedded in my heart that I need to share. This is a small excerpt of what is a much lengthier chapter. It is my hope
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I know, you are probably thinking how is that possible, that something that you win can be painful. Well, it can. This year has proven to be one of the most challenging years of our entire Country. Corporately we have witnessed the loss of lives in tragic accidents, illnesses, and murders. We have lost icons,
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If you are anything like me…you are a list maker. I have a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly list. It might be my OCD…yeah, I can admit that. And like anyone else, I had goals and plans for things to do this year! BUT guess what! I might have checked off one major item and
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Several days ago I was asked to join some girlfriends on Zoom to “just talk” and I took a hard pass. I thought I’d never say this, but I am officially experiencing digital fatigue. Everything that I must access is currently found on the Information Highway otherwise known as the Internet. Internet use to be
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I have come to realize that even if I met all of the markers of success, i.e., education, wealth, and housing. I am still brown. I was raised in The Bronx, NY. Specifically, the Soundview Housing Projects. My mom was a dedicated homemaker, and my father a blue-collar worker. I attended public schools. As an
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Six months of quarantine exposed a million little cracks that, if left unattended, would shatter…it would shatter our family. Awkwardly sitting together in our first virtual session… Family therapy. Looking at a screen trying to communicate why we are here. How did we get here? It was grueling! It required us to hear words spoken of
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Exhausted… Yup! These past few weeks, I have felt nothing but emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. I avoided the news channels for a few weeks, but my social media posts seemed to keep me connected to all the current news and all the anxiety we are experiencing in our neighborhoods, state, and world. It is
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It was calming down and then BAM! We get hit with a racial pandemic! Here we are trying to navigate masks, social distancing, slow integration. All the new normals that have been imposed upon us and now the most heinous of prejudices “RACE.” This, my friend, is no new occurrence. It’s the way we, the
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I thought I knew what I truly wanted, but when I got it I realized I didn’t want it at all. I was in love with the illusion of what it could be and not the reality of what it truly was. Have you found yourself yearning, fantasizing, idealizing a life, a job, a relationship,
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This global quarantine has exposed the best and worst of us. Who will survive? Who will thrive? I spent the first three months submitted to focused stillness- then BAM! The physical/social distancing kicked in…and I struggled!! You see, the first three months were my decisions, my choices, my focus. When the self – distancing was
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I was reluctant at first. Another quiz? Another label? Aye…really…but I did it. I took the Enneagram Test. I subjected myself to the algorithms that would accurately describe in detail my personality type. Did I learn anything new? Nah, not really. What I did learn is the test revealed that I apparently do live in
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During this physical distancing time, I have re-organized my closets, my dresser, the kitchen cabinets, my office desk, and the bookshelves. I have sorted in stacks of what I will keep, donate, and throw away. So it occurred to me, what in my relationships do I need to re-organize? How am I relating to the
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Three years and over 100 blog posts, I thought I had written enough, said enough, encouraged enough, brought enough insight, and it was time to wrap my blog in a beautiful, pretty bow. I didn’t believe that my weekly blogging had many legs left, and this was going to be my last post. BUT GOD!
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Letting go requires self-control. Read that again…slowly. By definition, self-control requires -restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires. When we let something go, when we release control of all things, self-control must take front and center. In our human nature, when we let things go, we panic, fear sets in, and we immediately
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The other day I read the funniest tweet ever… “been quarantined with my wife for four weeks now. At this point, I have more risk of getting killed by her than by a crummy virus.” I laughed out loud and shared it with my friends and especially my husband. I couldn’t help but think how
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Who will we be when all of this is said and done? An interesting season in our world. Forcing us to look at each other and deal with our families, our finances, and our environment. Requiring us to pay attention to the details. I have pondered several questions and wanted to share them with you
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Plans on hold Dreams deferred —— We are forced to do what so many have complained they never have the time to do Have dinners at home Walks in the park Talk with our kids Laugh with our spouses Call our friends Catch up on our favorite TV shows Read our favorite books Sleep more
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I logged on and there I was. A virtual classroom with attorneys and legal counsel from all around the world. Here I was a housewife/mom/blogger/former podcast host gearing up to learn and take in as much information as I could possibly understand about the LAW!! Who was I kidding? This was going to prove
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Coincidence – the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection. (Merriam-Webster) Have you ever thought and said to yourself, wow, that’s such a funny coincidence? Oh my goodness, how crazy is that? Or that can’t be possible? What are the chances? All comments that connect to what we believe
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All my life, I’ve made measured decisions. Is this a good idea? Will it be disrespectful? Will I hurt someone’s feelings? Will I be judged? Will they stop being my friend? Am I talented enough? Will I be pretty enough? Will I be smart enough? Will I be respected? Will they accept me? As I’ve
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Here it is – 16 months, of school, completed and now what? I found myself experiencing a real sense of anxiety. I normally am not one to get anxious. I’m pretty laid back about things. I wait and pray and trust. Yet I found myself panicking and fretting and worrying about what is next? What was
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It seemed so innocent. A post…I left a comment and then… BANG!!! Just like that, I was entangled in a thread that left my head spinning. I offered what I thought was an educated opposing comment to something a relative posted. What I didn’t know at that moment, that they were not inviting opposing
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Dearest Robert, Tomorrow, February 5th, we will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. The moment we cried (well I think you cried more than I did) and said I do to each other. And with that being said I want to say the following… Thank you for asking me to be your wife. Thank you for
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“Don’t accumulate possessions; accumulate experiences – Mark Batterson Have you walked up to a garage sale or estate sale and wondered how much the homeowner must have “loved” these items, and now here they are laid out on a table going for just a few bucks? I often wonder did these things bring joy, love,
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I challenge you!!! Set three goals for the next year! One that is attainable One that requires a bit of work One that is so out of your reach will take a miracle!!! I challenge everyone to put their faith to the test and see what GOD can do through you! I love writing goals
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 We are surrounded by so much noise that we forget what the sound of silence feels like! As this season of busyness approaches it’s important to take a moment, day, whatever you can spare and center yourself. The holidays can be emotionally and physically draining. Filled with exhilaration or unimaginable sadness for others. Be
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This was the year of weddings! We received six wedding invitations of which we were only able to attend three. It seemed that each time I opened my mailbox, there was another engagement, save the date and wedding invite. We take our attendance at weddings very seriously. Someone very wise once said, when you commit
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How do I keep my faith when those representing Christianity keep failing me!!!!! Who are we? What have we become? A divisive people fighting each other over politics A divisive people arguing over moral rights A divisive people judging the life of one another A divisive people that tear each other down A divisive people
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This past weekend I had a moment to watch a documentary on Netflix that made me think twice. “Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates” – I know, I know most cynics will say what can one of the richest men in the world teach me that his money has not solved for him. Well…compassion.
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Creating space through order! We were a lot of kids; at one given time, there were 9 of us living in a three-bedroom apartment with one bathroom! My mom was the queen of order and cleanliness. There were too many of us, and she hated the bugs that would come with uncleanliness! So! I learned
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Patience – The capacity, habit, or fact of being patient. Patient – bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain; steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. OUCH!!!!! Here I thought I am patient. WELL, after reading these definitions, I realized I have a LONG way to go to
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This week I had the privilege of sitting with some amazing women. They all shared their incredible journeys. They were poignant, heartfelt stories, others were uplifting and encouraging. One theme seems to run through all of the conversations…be teachable. Each one of them imparted some small nugget that left me filled, thinking, and challenged. I
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It was our recent trip to the country’s largest IKEA that prompted this blog! It was our first time walking through this monstrosity of a home goods store. We didn’t think we were going to buy anything, we just wanted to walk around, but we grabbed a bag. By the time we got to the
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You have my heart completely! Faith… This past week I underwent several medical tests. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it places things into perspective -that’s for sure! As I recovered and sat quietly in my bedroom. I took that the time to reflect on things I know to be true, and I wanted
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I was raised in a home where there was a full-time stay at home mom. My mom’s sole focus and job were raising all seven children. She woke up early, made us breakfast and when we came home from school, there was a snack waiting. The smells of dinner cooking would permeate the apartment. She
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So, here I was feeling really good about myself. Walking with a pep in my step and singing along with the radio in the car. I was HAPPY! It had been a summer of several health challenges, in which at this point, I was overcoming, and I had just completed my third semester of law
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This summer, a few things occurred that stopped me dead in my tracks and forced me to face the reality that lives all around us. Her name is Sarah*. A phone call from our son asking if a friend could sleepover. By sheer instinct, I knew the omission of the pronoun led me to the
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On May 8, 2017, I posted my very first blog. Little did I know that those words would travel the world. My intention for the blog is to inspire, educate, and entertain. Have I achieved that these past two years, I would hope so? I desire to always leave the reader with a new perspective.
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Time to pause Time to reflect Time to read more Time to sleep more Time to slow down Time to sit still Time to look up and give thanks Take time to live more, laugh more, and show up! Be kind to yourself Be good to others ‘Til August -Annette Ortiz Mata
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This week I celebrate my 53rd birthday. I always take this time to reflect on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I am going. I reflect on the goodness and mercy of God in my life I reflect on the life lived out loud in joy and in sorrow. I reflect on the enormous
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There I was sitting across from my son getting ready to be as vulnerable as possible, not truly knowing how he would receive my heart. And so, I leaped! I was nervous, but I needed him to know of my inner sorrow so that I could heal our brokenness. And then it happened…healing and wholeness. We
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“We need all your birth certificates”, he said. “All your siblings, it’s the only way to disperse the inheritance”. I proceeded to collect all the birth certificates and something was off. Six birth certificates and there it was. One of these was not like the other, and that other was mine. I was staring at
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Paul was barely a few days old. Due to being a premie, he was not allowed to be out of the NICU for very long, and I wanted Rob to meet and hold his baby brother. As I gently placed Paul in Rob’s arms, I asked him, “how do you feel?” and immediately he said, “my
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Forgive our indifference Forgive our selfishness Forgive our hatred Forgive our anger Forgive our racism Forgive our bigotry Forgive our unbelief Forgive our lack of empathy Forgive our lack of tolerance Forgive our lack of compassion Forgive our violence Forgive our fighting Forgive our division Forgive our ruthlessness Forgive our lack of love Forgive our
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So! These past few weeks have been filled with activities. Weddings, galas, bridal showers, night out w/friends, finals, finishing up my second semester of Law School and celebrating Easter. All in the past TWO weeks! I get to catch my breath for about a week or so, and I intend to get a physical, meet
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This weekend I was in a room full of love and celebration, and the next day a room full of judgment and excess. I belonged in both rooms. It was a weekend of bipartisanship, literally. I sat in awe that I had come so far. A little Puerto Rican girl from The Bronx was seated
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It’s no secret that I am a list keeper, journal writer, and avid reader. How I manage to do all three is a question I am not sure I can answer. I guess you have to decide how much you want to make time for it, and if it brings you joy, aka “Marie
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These past few weeks, our news and twitter feeds have been inundated with the school scandal/entrance scam. Parents going the “extra mile” to assure their child is guaranteed a seat in the most elite schools around the country. This, my friend, is nothing NEW. I think the most egregious detail is the “alleged fraud” that the
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Several years ago I attended a TedTalk style event featuring Cristina Saralegui, otherwise known as the Latina Oprah. She was having a conversation about the state of Latinos on Television and the power and the importance of her show, although on a Latino Network (Univision) she was experiencing great crossover success with her guests and audience.
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Answer: NOTHING! This past week the internet exploded. The interview on Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith and Jordyn Woods almost shut it down. Our salacious need to know the intimate, hurtful details of the indiscretions of a 21-year-old became breaking news…this is the state of our society, sadly. I try my best to
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Taking a moment to gather my thoughts. You do the same. ’Til Tuesday
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Have you ever sat still enough to contemplate where life has brought you? What your decisions have taught you? How life is working out for you? Have you considered the relationships in your life? Have you sat still enough to think about the world, nation, and community around you? I try my very best to
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Have you ever felt like you are free-falling? Everything you are trying to get done is coming undone. Your relationships are broken, your finances are in chaos, and your mind is racing and your nights are sleepless, and you feel all alone. Well, guess what, you are not alone. By nature of being nurturers, we
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I learned that just as I was letting go of “things”, I needed to let go of hurts that had crept into the closet of my heart.
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Committing to marriage and committing to each other is an act of selflessness.
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Just be… In this generation of striving and being and creating, we’ve lost the art of just being. Being ourselves, not a copy of someone else. We have fallen into the vicious trap of trying to be, act, look, talk, and walk like someone else. When I was younger, I was a victim of that
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If you follow my blog, you know that I am a list maker. I make a list for the day, the week, the month, the year. I go over it each day and check off my daily, monthly, and if I’m so lucky my yearly accomplishments. I challenge you to create a list of goals.
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She placed my life in perspective with these words. “…I beg to differ… It might not have been a strong year in the ways you may have hoped for it to be strong, but you and Tio damn sure have become stronger. You chose to walk in forgiveness with a family that treated you terribly
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One more sleep and I will face one of my biggest fears! Flying internationally… ALONE! An 11-hour flight with no one to tell me “it’s going to be okay,” except maybe a stranger whose hand I may grab (I’ve done that once before). Was the excitement of seeing so many beautiful things (including Megan Markle’s wedding
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My desires My dreams My regrets My fears My loves My heartache My plans My wishes My anger My determination My sorrow My laughter My strength My eternal hope… What lives in yours? Lessons: Remember to guard your heart… For where your treasure is, there your heart will be. (Matthew 6:21) “Til Tuesday
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This week was difficult to sit and write. First, the shootings that shook a community that was confident in their safety. The senseless shooting that took innocent lives. The senseless shooting that changed the reality of every family that lost a loved one The senseless shooting that shook me to my core, in not knowing
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Each year I plan my Thanksgiving Menu. I figure out how many guests and how much food I’ll need to prepare and purchase. I am incredibly meticulous with details and presentation because I want my guests to feel welcomed, loved, satisfied and thankful! As I thought about this process, I thought about what is on
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This week it happened to me! At the beginning of every year, I write my heart’s desire, goals for myself for that particular year. This year was no different. The year of New came with A LOT of new. Some wished for and others definitely not asked for, yet it was all new. I still
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When all you can do is cry – that’s ok! This year I cried a lot. There were tears of joy There were tears of deep sorrow There were tears of relief There’s were tears of happiness There were tears of despair There were tears in laughter There were tears of solace Crying is a
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Are you content? Do you feel – satisfied, pleased, gratified, fulfilled, happy, cheerful, glad; unworried, untroubled, at ease, at peace, tranquil, serene? So you accomplish all your goals. You check all your to-dos and sit back say..and then what? Were you satisfied? Did it meet all your expectations? Did you get out of it all
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Honestly, how did we get to the beginning of the end of this year!!! It’s around this time that I always sit and reflect on this past year. The ups, the downs. The dreams realized. The hopes deferred. The goals checked off. The addition of new goals. The losses and the gains. This year came
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Your immediate response may be, I am a participant? It’s my life I have to do me! What kind of question is that? Well, after several interesting conversations I concluded that some folks are spectators in their own lives. They don’t participate. They just do just enough to get through the day and meet their
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I sat and cried. I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t. The night before, I was taking my evening stroll and lectured my husband, that if anything should come back, that’s questionable, I didn’t want anyone to overact. That if my tests were to prove something malignant, I wanted everyone to be strong. Yet,
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As the youngest of seven siblings, I often wonder what could I offer my oldest in times of trouble. Well…this past year has put that to the test. David battling Leukemia and Angel battling End Stage heart disease in need of both a kidney and heart transplant has required me to… Eat, Love, Pray, and
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Grace – (n) – mercy, clemency pardon It seemed unimaginable. First came the phone call. The voice on the other end, desperate, screaming, crying, scared. “Mom, please tell dad to hurry, I’m hurt, I am really hurt.” What! Where? How? Where are you? – All questions I asked out loud and tons more racing through
