It was December of 2022, and we were driving up north to visit with our oldest. We had an awkward visit as we exchanged gifts in a Red Robin Restaurant and shared niceties, but we were still trying to figure out how life would look moving forward, and at that time, we sincerely had no idea. 

…And for five hours, we drove back in silence.

I stared out the car window, trying to figure out what our lives would look like. Would there be wholeness again? Would we ever celebrate Christmas as a family again? When is joy going to resume in our family? 

I remember asking my husband and youngest son…when will we address the elephant in the room. When do we talk about what happened? My wise young son said our oldest is not ready…you have to give him time.

A few days later, as we prepared to take down all our Christmas decorations…and if there is anything you need to know, I LOVE Christmas trees; I usually put up about six trees. So here I am putting all of Christmas away, and as I looked at the last Tree, a quiet voice said, leave that one up. 

Wait, what? 

I am going to have a Christmas Tree up ALL YEAR!!! I thought, great, here I go, doing crazy “old lady” stuff. The small voice prompted me to leave the Tree up all year as it was, with ALL the Christmas decorations and lights scheduled to turn on and off every day! 

So! I made the grand pronouncement to my husband and son…” guys, ummm, we cannot take down this Tree. I am not quite sure why, but I have a strong conviction that we are to leave this Tree up all year.” – Needless to say, they looked at me a bit odd, but they obliged, and we left the Tree up all year!

Now, what transpired a few weeks later was nothing short of a miracle – that’s for another time, but the weeks and months that passed slowly revealed why the Tree was to stay up. 

The Tree was a reminder of a promise and a gift. The Tree signifies joy, peace, hope, and love. The Tree was a reminder of redemption. 

As the months went by, the lights in the prelit Tree started to fade. I remember thinking oh no, my hope is fading, and I cannot allow that. 

As Christmas 2023 was approaching, more lights began going out. There was one single strand that was holding on. My Christmas miracle, which I was hoping for, was looking unattainable. I asked my husband to throw lights on the Tree to renew hope.

Then, two weeks before Christmas 2023, we contacted our oldest son and asked if he would like to come home for Christmas. I knew this was a big ask since he had not stepped into the house for almost 2 1/2 years. 

He said yes. 

He arrived the evening of Christmas Eve at a home full of love and lots and lots of tears. Christmas morning, I shared the tree story; I told him how the year before, I was prompted not to take it down. I said to him that leaving the Tree up was a reminder and a promise given to me that we would one day sit together on Christmas morning with joy and love. 

I was prepared to leave it up as long as it took.

My son wept; we wept. He thanked us over and over again for inviting him. I told him we are family; you belong to us, and you are my son.

The promise came true, and our prayers were answered. As a family, we begin 2024 walking on water, believing in miracles for each other. 

PS – The Tree that was left up all of 2023 was the Tree that hosts every ornament we purchased for our sons and every ornament they have ever made. It is the Tree with the most significance in our home. It is the Tree that reflects who we are as a family.

Only love can do this…only love.