Six Weddings…

This was the year of weddings!

We received six wedding invitations of which we were only able to attend three.  It seemed that each time I opened my mailbox, there was another engagement, save the date and wedding invite.

We take our attendance at weddings very seriously.  Someone very wise once said, when you commit to showing up to a wedding you are committing to the success of the marriage.  You are making a promise to the couple that you will pray and support them through their married life.  That concept truly made me think.

 How many of us think of our attendance in those terms?

So as I pondered on all these beautiful weddings that we attended this is my advice to the newlyweds of 2019!

During conflict 

Talk, talk and talk some more; Go for a walk in silence; Ask for forgiveness

Communication

 Understand your spouses’s personality; Have real expectations (he/she was always this way, he/she didn’t change); Take time to listen without being defensive; Keep a short account (let the grudge go)

What you wished someone had told you

It’s not his/her job to make all your dreams come true; Keep something for yourself – job, hobby, friendships; Everything doesn’t always have to be perfect; He can’t read your mind; Marriage is WORK; Be flexible

Rules of friendship w/ the opposite sex

 Talk about relationships that are non-romantic, How does he/she feel about that; Your spouse must always come first; Trust and boundaries must be clear.

Maintaining Intimacy 

Keep healthy boundaries with your kids and your time; Make your bedroom a sanctuary; Hold hands;  Stay connected phone calls, texts, emails; Words of Affirmation (we each need to know we are desired); Dates are key, whether during the day, noon or night and even in your own home; He/She must always be your boyfriend/girlfriend; Stay on point with your grooming and appearance.

Extended Family Conflicts 

Set boundaries; Create your own family traditions w/ your spouse and kids; Don’t allow guilt to drive your decisions.

When things are difficult

Remember who you fell in love with, that person is still there.  Life is happening to you and sometimes those circumstances are beyond your control. Forgiveness is key.  Record keeping is never a good thing. People grow and can change. Be open to new adventures. Be an encourager. Hold hands even when you don’t want to. And ask for help when you’ve hit a wall.

So to all these newly wedded starting their “forever” life, may we commit to pray for you, encourage you and support you …

Because…Marriage is work!

Lesson:

Don’t judge someone’s marriage.  You don’t know the work they are doing.

‘Til Tuesday

2 thoughts on “Six Weddings…

Add yours

  1. My parents met on a blind date and eloped six months later. They have been happily married for 57 years. Their parents didn’t approve of their relationship but my parents did not allow anyone to comment or intervene in their marriage. With time, their parents learned to love and respect the new in-laws. I once went to my mom with complains about my dad and she was quick to respond “Do not talk badly about my husband, I married him not you and it is because of him that I get to be your mother.If you have problems with him talk to him.” My wedding was nothing like they would’ve liked it to be but they said NOTHING. They came and loved us and 19 years later they have never said anything negative about my husband to me. So, keeping family members at bay is very important for any marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

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Dr. Eric Perry, PhD

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Bossy & Bookish in the South Bronx

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Wild Rebel Woman

Living wildly and passionately for all the right reasons.

Dr. Eric Perry, PhD

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Persevere

By Dan Sims

1st Noëlle

Bossy & Bookish in the South Bronx

Soul of a Woman

Inspire, encourage and entertain

Black Girls Blog Too

Intersectional feminism, Social taboos, Women's issues, Self love

designatedfriend

...Keep it Moving...

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

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