Saying I do…..

I said yes.  I moved across the country, and I gave up my identity.  I became a wife, his partner.  I became the homemaker, housekeeper (well not for long), I became the accountant and soon after I became the mother of his children.

During the past 24 years, I juggled my identity, our lives, the lives of our children and our marriage.  I have managed to live in an unconventional marriage where being apart from each other is the norm and being together is unusual.

We have weathered in our distance, family divisiveness, disagreements, financial challenges, two miscarriages, illnesses, different homes and false accusations.

You see when you say I do, no one can actually tell you how it’s going to work out because each person is different.  You can read as many books on marriage and relationships, but it isn’t until you get married and start doing life together that you come to understand what you really said I do to!

One critical decision we made in our marriage, no matter how difficult and painful the challenge we were facing..we would never walk away.  No matter how much we hurt, we would sit still and hold on.

We have cried, forgiven and loved.

I often look at seasoned couples and think to myself, how much have they forgiven.  How much have they given up?  How much have they laid their lives down for the other partner so he or she could rise up?   How much have they loved when love didn’t come easy?

In the past several years I have regained my identity.  I still hold the role of wife, mom, partner, homemaker, accountant, business owner.   With our years of experience and respect, I have come to understand the true meaning of “I do.”

I said I do to love, laughter, fear.  I said I do to holding your hand when I didn’t want to.  I said I do to sitting quietly when there are no words left to say.  I said I do to our children, I said I do to the unpredictable journey.  I said I do to accepting and walking through many valleys. I said I do to hopes and dreams deferred.

In saying I do to what didn’t seem familiar or comfortable for me, I found my voice.  I found my identity.  I found my purpose, I found my calling.  I began to remember that young woman that dreamed.  I remembered the woman that I was before the name change.  She was always there.  Just waiting for her turn…and it came.

To her I say, I do.

Lesson:

Don’t lose yourself.  Hold on to the person YOU fell in love with. Hold on to the person HE fell in love with.  Keep your identity and always remember to hold hands.

 “Til Tuesday

*image was taken by our son Paul.

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7 thoughts on “Saying I do…..

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  1. What a journey! Im up lifted to receive the prespective outside of the many books I read still believeing that I will meet and marry the man God wants me too. It has been hard to stay faithful at times not feeling that Gods not forgotten me in this area that I desire so much but as you shared I Do is just the beginning of an unknown adventure that unfolds as we go. I just keep n ponder all these nuggets in my heart, knowing that others have gone there before me and I’ll have wisdom when my turn arrives. Abundant blessing!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful blessed love ❤️
    you both are an excellent example of a Godly couple. Thank you for sharing your open heart of wisdom and knowledge.

    Like

  3. Thank you for sharing your heart and journey. Similar to you, I didn’t know what I was saying I do to. I was naive, 18 years old and was still “growing” up. I do for me meant that a little over a year into our marriage we would find ourselves faced with a life long journey of health issues. His diagnosis came as our first daughter was about to turn 1. Yes, the “I do” holds so much value and meaning to me now then the young woman who said it. In some sense, I feel that I am still saying “I do” every morning as I wake up and get ready to face the day. It has now been over 10,400 daily I do’s for me and I wouldn’t change a thing. Thank you for the reminder:-).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The journey of I do. As my journey came to its end, I said to myself, Did I? To have and to hold? 38 years. For better or worse? Such good times, He still makes me laugh. Valleys so deep. Richer or poorer? Thank God we were able to trust, He would always provide for our us under every circumstance. In sickness and in health, we were Side by side. Till death.

    Like

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By Dan Sims

1st Noëlle

Bossy & Bookish in the South Bronx

Soul of a Woman

Inspire, encourage and entertain

Black Girls Blog Too

Intersectional feminism, Social taboos, Women's issues, Self love

designatedfriend

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Persevere

By Dan Sims

1st Noëlle

Bossy & Bookish in the South Bronx

Soul of a Woman

Inspire, encourage and entertain

Black Girls Blog Too

Intersectional feminism, Social taboos, Women's issues, Self love

designatedfriend

...Keep it Moving...

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

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