Healing is messy!
Whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual…it is messy. I recently read a book about a woman who lived in a million-dollar home in the suburbs, but threw it all away due to her addiction. She was arrested and convicted, and while serving her time, she battled her addiction.
During her sentencing, she continued to use drugs. She was finally able to find the help she needed to get through her battles, and though the treatment may have been unconventional, it helped her stay sober.
What she thought would be a return to her life as she knew it was not exactly what she found. She suffered setbacks, divorces, homelessness, and joblessness, all the while she was desperately trying to regain custody of her youngest child.
As I read this very poignant memoir, I thought about how much her healing cost her. We often overlook those peripheral victims of the behavior. There is so much to recover and heal that the task can usually feel monumental in the worst possible way, so why bother?
My takeaway after reading this story was how quickly we are to judge “bad” behavior. Society punishes the punished. In an interview about the book, someone said to her, we must stop judging folks by their one bad moment; they are more than that.
I have come to recognize that we must celebrate the small wins of those who are trying so desperately to heal a relationship, regain their sobriety, regain the trust of their family, and re-integrate into a community. For some of these folks, what has happened to them is not what they did to themselves, but circumstances beyond their control. For others, life happened to them.
If we see someone struggling, don’t judge the struggle; offer a hand up. If we see someone hungry, we should offer to feed them. If we see someone lost, help them find their way.
Healing is painful, messy, chaotic, traumatic, and beautiful.
Let’s learn to show up in it with love, hope, peace, and joy.
Celebrate the messiness of the small wins.
For some, it has taken a lifetime to get there.
For others, it may be the only celebration they’ll ever know.
Be aware.