Lately, I feel my nervous system come undone.

While conversing with my husband, I shared that…

I feel an overwhelming sense of grief. I feel invisible. I feel discarded. Everything I represent has been weaponized against me –

Latina/Woman/Christian

I have watched as so many in this country have chosen to take the road of anger, hatred, and division.

I am watching friends and family members stand for injustice as if it were just.

I am watching everything that I stand for and ever believed in disintegrate into a pile of sand.

I am watching the toppling of a democratic nation come under the submission of an autocrat.

I am watching Latinos against Latinos, as if their identity becomes whitewashed because they stand for injustice against their own.

I am watching women subjected to and accepting barbaric laws that are set up to terrorize us into submission.

And sadly, I am watching Christians divided in their faith. Us vs. Them.

I feel as if I am being gaslighted, bamboozled to believe a lie. When did this become our norm?

In this political climate, nothing has been left sacred and untouchable. Everything has been stained, tainted.

I no longer read my local paper, not because I am placing my head in the sand, but because of what is being reported is happening in my neighborhood, in my community. All I have to do is step outside, drive around.

I am limiting my consumption of social media and doomscrolling because folks are ignorant, ill-informed, indifferent, and callous to the trauma of families and children. They have disregarded the cost of this pain.

I am being selective with whom I sit with. I am never opposed to sitting with those who think differently, but I am averse to sitting with those who refuse to listen.

I listen, I learn.

But more importantly, I show up in the most difficult of cases so that I can understand the gravity of most situations. I may not have all the “legal” answers, but I can offer EMPATHY. I can show up in a moment of crisis and reassure a mother, a child, a family that they are not alone. I can hold their hands and I can pray.

What is happening in our country should not ever be celebrated, but measured by the cost of Christ.

What is happening in our country should matter to you even if it has nothing to do with you today, for tomorrow it may, and wouldn’t you want someone to care for you?

This is not a blog about convincing anyone to switch political parties but begging anyone who cares to CARE!

So let me be clear.

Our communities are being ripped apart. Our relationships are getting strained, and our country is broken.

I truly struggled with the idea of writing what I feel in this moment in our history. Would it make a difference? Would it inform anyone?

Yet, I feel compelled to write.

I do NOT have a spirit of fear, for I know who holds my tomorrow. I know who I follow and I know who and how I serve.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Tim 1:7 -NLT)

So, with that being said and knowing the encouragement of the scriptures, this is what I do have.

I have a broken heart and that too is biblical.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalms 34:18)

I have watched and listened to folks whom I love and respect turn inward to their fundamentalism and Christian nationalism to excuse the current administration’s actions. I am outraged by how we have turned away from the “least of these.” I am outraged when ANYONE is terrorized in and out of our country. I am outraged when the innocent are attacked and marginalized.

Yet, the outrage I see in the hearts, minds, and eyes of so many is “selective.” It only matters when it fits their narrative, their conviction, their political agenda, or their religious ideology.

So as I continue to sit at the tables of my enemies and live amongst the disenfranchised, I will lean into my faith, the teachings of Jesus Christ, and my moral conviction.

I will show up in places that are uncomfortable. I will try to remember who folks were before their “selective” outrage became their identity. I will continue to exercise kindness not because they are deserving, but that is what is expected of me.

That, too, is in the Bible.