A few days ago, I was listening to a podcast about regret. As the caller expressed her regrets, their regrets resonated with me.

I listened as her voice trembled, on the verge of tears, I found myself wiping tears of my own. You see, I, too, realized I had placed my family first and forgot to include me. Their needs were the first course of action when I woke up and the last thought on my mind when I went to bed.

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom so that I could be the first and last person my child would interact with. I volunteered at every room parent event and even became the President of the PTA. I attended every sports event and every performance and chauffeured them around town to ensure they were where they should be. I rushed home to prepare dinner, planned playdates and birthday parties, and kept them healthy, fed, and alive…all along,,,

I was dying.

I denied myself my own dreams. I repressed them so that I could be present for my family. I denied myself opportunities I believed would take me away from what I thought was more important.

They were my priority, not me.

Now, as an empty nester with adult children, I look at myself in the mirror and see an older version of me, asking if it was all it was cracked up to be.

During that season of my life, did anyone ask how you are doing? Did anyone care if you ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Did anyone checkin on you? Not really, because what folks saw was what I was supposed to be doing, which was serving my family first.

I believe most moms, whether you stay at home or work outside of your home, feel the same way. There is a generational pull to be the most “present” parent, yet you are left with sand in your hands when it’s all said and done.

Children move on, relationships fluctuate, and we find ourselves neither being needed nor knowing where we need to be. We find ourselves looking around the room, trying to find the space in which we belong, and if anyone notices we were even there?

Putting your family first is honorable...but we must remember to include ourselves.

If you find yourself in the midst of putting your family first and you are not included…stop and reset.

You MUST include yourself in this journey. They will be better for it, and you will be fulfilled when your job of “parenting” is done. You won’t find yourself aimlessly trying to fit in and searching for a place to belong.

For those moms who knew how to do this…kudos to you, but for those like me, you are not alone.

There’s still time to take care of YOU!