Soul of a Woman

The call came in.

My father had a heart attack and is intensive care.

I sit still and wait.

I sit still and process what is before me.

Do I love or do I walk away

Do I choose to remember how he protected me or do I remember how he treated my mom?

Do I remember all the times he took my brother and me to the museums, the eye doctors, the dentists, and parent-teacher conferences, or do I remember the lies and disagreements that would later grip my heart?

Do I choose to live offended, or do I choose to live thankful that he cared for me?

Do I choose to pick up the phone and call or do I let him exist in his loneliness and pain?

Life with my dad has been full of unpredictable moments.  Unexpected joy and gut-wrenching heartbreak.

Did he change as he grew older, or was he this man all along distant, cold, and indifferent to others’ sorrow and pain?

Was I going to sit and wonder why or was I going to let go and forgive in my heart and reach out to the broken man that may or may not survive his grave diagnosis?

I chose to call.

 “Hello Pa, how are you?” “How are you feeling?”

“I am praying for you…and…

I love you.”

I chose to remember the good; I chose to remember the laughter.

He is living in pain, loneliness, and sadness.

It was not for me to add any more to his current condition.

Lesson:

It’s doing the hard things that bring the greatest reward.

Choose life, joy, and happiness, and make the call!

‘Til Tuesday